Seriously, Don't Judge Me

It's a long story of how I came to be searching for this book...It's not worth explaining.

I'm not judging the book.

I am, however, trying not to die laughing about the last 2 things customers also viewed.

Just in case you can't quite read them:
A mechanical bidet
and
An adult bear coat

I've officially seen it all, folks.

I Dare You Not To Laugh

Act Like A Grown Up For Gosh Sake!

I always see the lists of "How To Be A Good Person" and "What You Wished Someone Would Have Told You Because You Have No Common Sense" and "You're 32 Stop Acting Like You're 23" but I've never agreed with the entire list.  Until now.  

The following is from The Frisky and I think it's spot on.  Read it, appreciate it, remember it, do it.

You're welcome for finding it.

 1. That guy or girl at the bar or party that you want to talk to? Just fucking do it. If you don’t, they’ll leave, and you’ll always wonder what would have happened. If you need an opening line, use mine, it works 9 out of 10 times: “Do you know Tyler?” Everyone knows a Tyler. They’ll talk about their Tyler, you’ll talk about yours, you’ll realize they’re not the same Tyler, and you’ll go from there. If they don’t know a Tyler then you say, “Sorry, I meant Ryan.”

2. Please, just dance in your room. Put on your favorite song or playlist and just do it.

3. Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full.

4. Be kind to people. You could gain a friend or someone who could help you out later in life. Being mean to them will gain you nothing.

5. “The future’s open wide.” — Modern English.

6. Again, I just have to reiterate: don’t be a dick.

7. Help your friends.

8. But don’t loan your friends anything unless you’re okay with never seeing it again.

9. Buy the good tampons. This is not the place to save money.

10. “The Shining” is actually a really good holiday film. And not just Christmas — Valentine’s Day is coming up!

11. Please don’t ever tell anyone “You look tired.” We know when we look tired.

12. You’re more likely to spend more money when you don’t have it than when you do. So basically hide your credit card when you’re broke and use cash only.

13. It’s so hard not to want everything now. But some things require a slow burn.

14. Some things, however are not worth waiting for. Like the dude who hasn’t texted you back after a week. Not. Worth. It.

15. It helps to have a favorite TV show to look forward to every week. It’s just nice to have a little something that makes you think, Oh yay, I get a happy little slice of time for 30-60 minutes.

16. I’m just going to say this again,  because it’s important: don’t be an asshole. Especially not on purpose.

Find the original HERE

Bring On The Coffee

Being as I had to stay late at work last night, get gas in the -million degree temperatures, and got pulled over for having a headlight out (Seriously??? Did it go out while you were pulling me over??), I'm gonna need a lot of coffee this morning...

What's Up Now, Friday

Just trust me, you need this today.

via one of these places?

Four Smurfs Attack A Man Who Refused To Light Their Cigarette

For real.

Yup.

All The Single Librarians

This postcard to PostSecret just makes me smile...I'm not sure if it's because the image makes the crush seem sweet instead of what is probably totally creepy? Or if it's just because someone has a "favorite librarian"...I like to imagine some normal, nice guy secretly loving the sweet, smart librarian from behind a book...

It takes a lot of willpower to not envision the mentally disturbed, poor personal hygiene sort of person that comes to mind first...

To all the "favorite librarians" being loved from afar!

Roscoe Needs This

We have a black squirrel that runs around our yard that we've named Roscoe.  Andy likes to feed him peanuts.  I'm now positive that we need to add this for him to lounge on and eat corn. Lowes had a genius idea with this one.

Book Roundup of 2012

Another year has come and gone and I'm officially shutting the door on the books of 2012.

Without further ado:

1) The Memory Palace by Mira Bartok
2) The State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
3) Stay Close by Harlan Coben
4) Call Me Irresistible by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
5) Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
6) When She Woke by Hillary Jordan
7) Witness the Night by Kishwar Desai
8) Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
9) My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf
10) The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides
11) Oxford Messed Up by Andrea Kayne Kaufman
12) Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
13) Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
14) We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
15) Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling
16) Little Princes by Conor Grennan
17) Catch Me by Lisa Gardner
18) The Black Isle by Sandi Tan
19) Room by Emma Diffenbaugh
20) The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown
21) Love You More by Lisa Gardner
22) The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks
23) The Romanov Conspiracy by Glenn Meade
24) By The Iowa Sea by Joe Blair
25) Wild by Cheryl Strayed
26) Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
27) Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James
28) Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
29) Loving Frank by Nancy Horan
30) The Odds by Stewart O'Nan
31) The End of Normal by Stephanie Madoff Mack
32) Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea Handler
33) The Map of Lost Memories by Kim Fay
34) Guilty Wives by James Patterson
35) Home Front by Kristin Hannah
36) Black Belt Librarian by Warren Graham
37) MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche
38) Drop Dead Healthy by A.J. Jacobs
39) Defending Jacob by William Landay
40) The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon
41) The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
42) The Most Talkative by Andy Cohen
43) Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
44) Little Brother by Cory Doctorow
45) The Lifeboat by Charlotte Rogan
46) The Big Bang by Linda Joffe Hull
47) Wife 22 by Melanie Gideon
48) The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perotta
49) Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
50) I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
51) Sleep No More by Iris Johansen
52) Cruising Altitude by Heather Poole
53) Wallflower in Bloom by Claire Cook
54) Everything Was Good-Bye by Gurjinder Basran
55) Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker
56) The Twelve Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis
57) The Clover House by Henriette Lazaridis Power

Alright.  There it is.  The list of 2012.  My general thoughts of this list?  This sucks.  Largely, generally sucks.  Last year, I had one book that I wanted to punch myself for having read.  This year, multiple books made me just flat out angry.  I did read a couple very good books but it was a stretch trying to find 5 of them.

Here's a general breakdown:
Fiction: 43
NonFiction: 14
Classics: 2
Audiobooks: 1
Series: 2
For Work: 6
Library Journal: 8
Books That Made Me Want To Punch Myself: 8
Most Overrated: Tie-- Defending Jacob and Fifty Shades of Grey
Most Underrated: By The Iowa Sea

Lessons learned? James Patterson just needs to stop putting his name on anything and everything. I'm not really a fan of the silly chick lit (Sorry Sophie Kinsella).  I very rarely agree with the masses (Oprah, Wild was just not really all that great. Let's be honest.  She just walked.)  What I don't find weak women and emotionally unstable men sexy. At all. I'm more moved by a book where the characters make me cry than the ones that make me cheer.

Top Five: (in no particular order)
1) The State of Wonder
2) Gone with the Wind
3) We Need to Talk About Kevin
4) By the Iowa Sea
5) The Night Circus

So? Do you agree? Do you disagree? Did I miss reading the best book ever?