I'm a longstanding supporter of your work. I consistently answer the question "what do you want for xmas/birthday/fun" with the answer "anything from JCrew". Until now. I will now be answering that question "anything from JCrew except those god-awful biased fly jeans" I'm pretty sure that whoever approved those jeans as a design concept, was clearly on crack, meth, acid, or asleep. I'm considering actually sending a strongly worded letter or just assuming your mother has already reprimanded you. Be grateful that I'm fairly lazy and I'll leave it up to your mother at this point. But be forewarned, if you ever do something this foolish (and garish) again, I'll get my writing utensils out!
Yours in good faith,
p.s. I'm not sure exactly what that sign off meant but I feel it's appropriate.