Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Rich People Problems

I guess I really mean, things rich people do that are totally weird (and annoying) to me.

Things I encountered at the fancy pants gym today:

1) A woman monopolizing the vanity area of the locker room by using 2 blow dryers at one time.  How is this even possible, you ask? Have one in each hand and just randomly aim them at your head.  Does this cut drying time in half?  Logically, you would think so.  However, I'm fairly confident that the lack of any sort of technique just means your making a bigger mess of things.

2) Old man who has plenty of money for said fancy pants gym and a fancy pants trainer, clearly has no money for deodorant.  Please stop running next to me.  I can taste your b.o. and it makes my run gross.  P.S. I also felt really bad for myself for the couple minutes I thought it was me that smelled so god awful.  I will never get those self esteem minutes back.

3) Old lady insisting on wearing only her granny panties and senior citizen bra for over 35 minutes of putting on her makeup at the mirror.  Do you not put on clothes at home while you're getting ready, lady?  Is this a thing that I don't know about with people? Also, I'm horribly confused by your lack of nice underwear.  I mean, I get the weird granny panties.  I DO NOT understand the bra that resembles something that could be purchased at Walmart in the "My First Bra" section.  Once you hit a certain age, is it required that we have to go back to training bras?  If so, I'd like to work on legislation ensuring that I'm allowed to still wear my VS bras when my boobs are friends with my knees.

4) My appointment at Fresh Skin was over an hour late today.  They offered no apologies.  I also find this weird because most people in HP expect a ridiculous amount of apologies for even the smallest of problems.  For example, if you look at someone the wrong way, you may have to give them your first born child as a small spaces maid.  Evidently, I do not look fancy enough and therefore, do not currently have a small child cleaning small spaces.  I also do not warrant a simple "Sorry we wasted 1.25 hours of your time." This is disappointing.

I have so much to learn about rich people....

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