Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Seriously, What Did You Expect?

Now, I can't say I appreciate it, but Guy Fieri's bleach blonde mess of hair is not what should have tipped you off to his lack of culinary (and life) refinement.  What should have tipped you off?

The fact that he wears sunglasses hanging backwards on his neck while hosting a national televised restaurant show.

As far as I'm concerned that's the equivalent of dressing up for a black tie (or any, really) wedding by wearing your nicest wranglers.  It's not ok, and it's not appropriate.  It screams "I don't care about anyone else but myself and I'm going to hope you take my lack of common fashion sense as 'man, that Guy Fieri must be really cool'"  No one thinks that.  Ever.

Anyway, I'm getting away from the point....The point of this is that no one in their right mind could have expected a guy who grills sushi because his friends were too chicken to eat it the correct way, to have put together a half assed decent menu in a huge Times Square location.

This review from the NYT is so brilliantly awful that I'm not sure how Guy doesn't just immediately go there and lock the doors.  You should read it immediately in it's entirety.

First up, the cocktail list, which is a glorious piece of white trash ephemera—a love letter to food coloring and sugar. I go for the El Azul Watermelon, a mix of Tequila Blanco, watermelon, pineapple, and blue curacao rimmed with shocking-pink sugar. It's not so much a drink, as it is a cup of diabetes that tastes like a crackhead with a sweet tooth melted down blue raspberry Dum Dums, gum balls, and Sour Patch Kids and put it on ice.
– Talia Baiocchi, Eater

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