I Need A Surfboard

So I can make this the official picture of my upcoming trip to the lake


by http://www.redsilas.com/
via Tor.com

Although, LJ threw a little wrench in my plan by sending me a book to review....I just finished The Odds by Stewart O'Nan last night though so I'm going to try to get this book review done real quick...we'll see!

Deep Breaths..

So the media console and chair were delivered yesterday.  The media console is awesome. It fits the room, looks great, and adds proportion that was lacking.

The chair on the other hand....

While very handsome and comfortable, is FLIPPING HUGE.

It basically fits nowhere.  No big deal right? Wrong.  Somehow the delivery of these 2 pieces of furniture and has led to total chaos.  At least in my brain.  In the past 24 hours, suddenly, every piece of furniture needs to be replaced and no one can agree on anything.  Evidently, my taste "sucks" and I'm considering moving into the Marriott for the rest of my life.

If only it was appropriate to take Xanax before work....

Things I've Randomly Thought About Today

I've decided my interest in novels with unlikeable main characters is linked closely to my love of judge shows.  When reading books with characters that are morally lacking or otherwise un-cheer-worthy, I enjoy picking them apart and judging their every decision.  I spend the book plotting out what I think they should do or should have done and how those around them should be reacting.  Same goes for watching judge shows (Dear Judge Mathis, you are my favorite. I will hug you if I see you on the street. Love, Madeline. Dear Judge Alex, you are a close runner up. Don't feel bad about yourself.  Big fan, buddy! Love, Madeline.) I like watching the hilariously moronic people that have in some way harmed someone else try to justify their actions.  I love watching the different judge's line of questioning and patting myself on the back when my "judgment" matches theirs.  Maybe I was meant to be a television judge in my next life. I hope Judge Judy passes the money rake to me when she's done.

I read today that there will be a graphic novel version of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo published in the upcoming year.  The movie was harsh enough.  I don't think I need to see artistic renderings of those scenes.

There is also a book called The MILF Diet coming out. Seriously? I'm going to write a book and title it The 80's Child Diet. It's going to basically say to cut out all Mountain Dew, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Hot Stuff pizza...But to eat more Jell-o and add in more Dirty Dancing.  Just think how much weight people are going to lose!!

 After discussing the topic with Pharon, I've come to the realization that picking your wedding date is the next most important thing besides picking the rings you'll wear forever.  Namely because it's the ONE THING that NEVER changes for your whole marriage...I feel bad for the people who picked sucky dates like 1/19/64 or 9/7/03...I don't even know if those fall on Saturdays but they sound and look ugly. *Side note- Pharon, both your dates sound awesome so you're good to go.


 We have new basement furniture coming tomorrow!! Yippee!! Granted, it's just a new media console and chair but that's like 75% of the room!  I've been told that I have 3 months to get the basement redone..So after this, I just need to paint, select which art will stay, and find a way to tie it all together..

I'm almost finished with Loving Frank by Nancy Horan.  I HIGHLY recommend it.  I had no idea how much of a jerk Frank Lloyd Wright was in real life.  Upcoming books include WMF Seeks BFF by Rachel Bertsche, Maine by Courtney J. Sullivan, Home Front by Kristin Hannah, The Odds by Stewart O'Nan, I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, Kill You Twice by Chelsea Cain, The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker, and last but not least, The Twelve by Justin Cronin.  I think I've balanced the girly fluff with some things a bit more weighty..maybe not...I don't care! I'm going to the lake a week from Saturday and I'm gonna read whatever I want! Judge me all you want! 

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE PHARON NEXT SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
So as of right now, those are the things I've thought of so far today...Probably not ALL of it but most of it...It's not like you want to know about my work thoughts or anything....

Movember Come Early?

I don't know what's going on here...but I do know that Jordan Knight will always be my lifelong #1 crush.  Mustache or not.  I'm going on a 20+ year streak of Jordan Knight love...



Thank you New Kids on the Block for still standing around shirtless together after all these years.

We 30-something ladies appreciate it.

Here Comes The Queen

Sometimes this is how I think Midge pictures herself...
via: Here

I Would Call Him Rascal

If only it wasn't like a grand....

I'm pretty sure this would put Midge and Nick over the edge...

But if you'd like to buy one for your baby's room or basement bar or something

Check it out Here

Monkeyburger In Paradise

So, I didn't actually have a monkeyburger...nor do I think those sorts of things exist...well, at least not in Punta Cana...

BUT- I definitely stood next to a pool and held a monkey...in paradise

Take that!

I would do anything to be near a pool right now...in fact, I might go buy a shovel on the way home and start digging in the backyard...

Even If Just For A Minute

(found on Pinterest, reblogged from what seems to be a million people...sorry if I copied you, whoever made this...)

I Need A New Hairdresser

I remember desperately wanting bangs when I was growing up.  The closest I ever got to cutting my own hair was cutting approximately 7 strands of hair into bangs that only I could see.  At least, as far as I remember 

Some kids have more balls than I did.  

And they are MUCH funnier because of it.

The 5 year old daughter of an NPR reporter decided to take it upon herself to cut her 3 year old sister's hair.  From the sound of it, she desperately needed a haircut anyway..and their father was there to interview the subjects afterwards.

Classic little kid hilariousness ensues....

Best Haircut Ever

Score One For The Supreme Court

Reading For Pepperoni

I miss reading for pizza.  I do.  I really, really do.

When I was in elementary school, they offered the Pizza Hut Book It! program.  I don't remember exactly what the book goal was but it was something along the lines of "read 10 books, get a free personal pan pizza and a sticker for your cool hologram button".  Being as I grew up in a little Minnesota town who's closest restaurant pizza option was driving miles into town to pick up a Hot Stuff from the grocery store before driving back home (and probably popping it in the oven to heat back up), going to Pizza Hut was like a mini fantastical vacation.  Go to Fargo or Detroit Lakes, sit down at fancy pizza place, show them your proof of book reading, get magic personal pan pizza.  Cue angels singing.

Turns out, Pizza Hut still offers this program! Granted, for kids...but whatever! For the love of pizza gods, can they offer an adult version of this???

Happy Late Pride Day!

Love love love to all those, gay and straight, who have proven time and again that there is NEVER anything wrong with LOVE! 

If love is offered accept it! 

Mad? Or Happy?

Because when I work a Saturday, I just need a laugh...


via BuzzFeed

Covertastic

I love an awesome cover.  Prince's cover of Crimson and Clover might be one of my all time favorites.

I'm also a relatively new fan of The Civil Wars.  My dad sent me the video for their awesome version of Billie Jean.

Turns out, they've got a bunch of other covers as well.  And if you've never heard The Civil Wars before, I highly recommend their album Barton Hollow.

Bartending As A Backup?

There was a point before I started graduate school where every report said librarians were going to be the new hot commodity.  Oh, there's going to be so many librarians retiring and we'll have so many jobs! Fast forward to the bursting of the economic bubble and it's basically the opposite.

No one is retiring, no one is filling empty spots with full-time positions...

And reports like this come out:

Forbes: The Best and Worst Master's Degree for Jobs

Who ranks as the lowest of the low on this list?

Librarians.



FML

Break A Leg...No, Really..

You know what you shouldn't wear for a FitDance class?  A class where you're dancing with lots of arms and legs moving? Often resembling a hip hop dancing gorilla?

These


The normal, responsible foot owning public never expected to need to explain this.  (and yes, I meant "foot owning"..my feet cried for hours thinking about you last night, lady.  My ankles were equally disturbed)

I'm talking to you, lady-wearing-normal-clothes-and-too-much-makeup at FitDance last night.

p.s. No, they are also not appropriate for the preceding Abdominals class either.  Shocking, but true.

Super Sexy Serial Killer

One might think I was referring to Michael C. Hall and his portrayal of Dexter....While I'm a pretty giant Dexter fan, I'm also a HUGE Chelsea Cain fan.  

Who is Chelsea Cain?  She just happens to be the author of a number of books including the Gretchen Lowell series.  Gretchen Lowell is the twisted, violent serial killer that torments the troubled detective, Archie Sheridan.  It doesn't matter if Gretchen is in jail or not, she can still pull off some gruesome deeds.  Probably because she's not only a mental genius, she's also drop dead gorgeous.  The girl can seduce, yo.  This series is one of my all time favorites and I recommend it all the time.  Archie isn't the most likable of characters in the first book but he has substantial emotional growth throughout the series.  Stick with the guy and you can't help but be engaged in his personality.  

Not for the weak stomached....

Anyway, I bring this up because the 4th book in the series is being released on August 7th and I just had a giddy, bounce in my chair clapping session...

 

I'm above and beyond excited...

Series:

Heartsick, Sweetheart, Evil at Heart, and Night Season

p.s. Cain is from Iowa City which makes her even cooler...

Happy Mental Break

Do you need a mental break?  Desperately searching for happiness?

Look at this:

Live Puppy Cam

(turns out, embedding the video stream didn't work)

Shiba Inu puppies...sleeping, playing, being stupid cute....

Seriously, it's so cute your teeth may fall out

There Goes An Hour

Sorry I've been missing for the past couple weeks! The library is moving to a temporary location and because of that, I haven't spent much time in front of a computer...which meant I haven't wandered across much awesome stuff lately...Until now!

I just lost more than an hour of my life at All Women Stalk.

(Pretend there's an cute image here..for some reason, I can't get anything to come up correctly)
It's a website with tons of lists in different topics.  Hair, diets, wedding, fashion, travel...I will admit, I'm not a huge fan of the format of their lists as each item is listed on the "next" page...I'd prefer to not have to click "next" to see every single thing...just put it all on one page....BUT it still has some great lists and it's seriously addictive....

WTF Glamour Shots??

I'll admit it, I wanted nothing more desperately than getting Glamour Shots when I was growing up.  If there are 2 things in the world I remember wanting, it's one of those little red Little Tikes cars


and my chance at supermodel superstardom via Glamour Shots.

Clearly my mother is a fun hater because I got neither one of these things.

Because I have no professionally taken Glamour Shots to prove that I would have RULED that camera, I'll take comfort in all these other ladies that probably scarred that camera for life.


Is this dominatrix GS??


Nothing like a well places boa...


Maybe the red hat on a red background wasn't such a great idea? I didn't realize your head was normal size until I had looked at this 4 times.  Oh, and I assume they refer to this as your "Joker pose"?

12 Ways to Achieve the Very Best Glamour Shot