Compared To A Platoon Of Monkeys

What Would Be YOUR Space Jam??

If your dream is stupid, get a new dream...

3 Of My Favorite Things Combined

BBQ

Donut

Boat

Where the hell have you been all my life???????????




I very well might sell all of my worldly possessions for this contraption.

Buy it for me HERE

Barn Burnin' Locofoco

Chicago Weekly Journal 1846
April 20th
Mrs. Elizabeth Peters, of Boone Co., Indiana, thus notices her absconding husband: "Left my bed and board last fall, thereby rendering my expenses lighter, my legal husband, John Peters, without cause of provocation. All the old maids, and young girls, and widows, of all ages and conditions, are hereby forwarned against harboring or trusting him on my account, as I am determined not to be held accountable for his debts, or more especially for his conduct, because he is a loafer, a drunkard, a gambler, a liar, a thief, and a barn-burning Locofoco."

To Thine Own Self Be True

Sissy Goodwin is a former cowboy, airplane mechanic professor who is most comfortable in a pretty pink skirt and a bow in his hair.  Yes, I said HIS. Sissy (also known as Larry) is a straight man with a loving wife of 45 years and 2 adult children.  Read Sissy Goodwin's story with the link below. His story of being true to himself is inspiring and heartfelt.

We should all be so lucky to be brave enough to be who our hearts tell us we are.

We should also be so lucky as to know someone like Sissy Goodwin.

Sissy, I can't imagine you'll ever see this, but I wish I could hug you and tell you that you're a hero to anyone who has felt bad wearing the wrong pair of jeans, not giving their true opinion because it was unpopular, or just feared making a change. Thank you

He's Tough Enough to be a Sissy in Wyoming

My Future's So Bright

I can't explain it but I want this



Find it on Etsy HERE

P.S. There's also a lot of other sweet things in that shop so you should check it out whether you want the shirt or not

You Old Dog, You

I love dogs and books but this is ridiculous.



Personally, I don't even think the cover dog has an old man face?

I'm going to start working on my book of Midge pictures titled "Dog with Mind of Her Own"

It's probably going to include pictures like this:


Captioned "Who's the bitch now? Get my bone"

and this:




"I was saving that for later. I told you I liked vegetables."

Keepin' It Classy, New York

Just another reason why I like reading the personal section in the New York Review of Books (and only the personal section)
"Read To Me. You: expressive voice, loving heart, whiskers. Me: open arms, phonographic memory, and a nice rack. Recite your favorite passage."

A nice rack.  Classy.

Almost Like Having A Chef

I'll admit it.  I'm a decent cook but I am not as impressive with meal planning. I go in streaks where I'm really good at planning out all our meals for the week and then I go weeks not having a single plan except "I'll email Andy 5 minutes before work to see if he has any ideas for dinner"

Enter Blue Apron

Blue Apron is a service that delivers all the makings for 3 meals for 2 people directly to your doorstep every single week.  They send all the fresh ingredients in the exact portions that you'll need for each recipe.

We just got our first box today so I haven't tried it yet but I'm pretty excited.  Truthfully, I've not even seen the box in person yet but I've got some promising looking pictures!

Which should all translate to something like this:

Fresh Fettucelle Bolognese

with Baby Heirloom Carrots

Seared Trout

with Peach and Arugula Salad

Jerk-Spiced Chicken

with Rice & Beans

All the meals break down to about $10/person.  Which I find to be fairly reasonable considering I don't have to go driving all around to get the different ingredients and I won't be throwing away a bunch of slimy green onions when I don't use the entire 42 that seem to come in a bag. Oh, and to top it off, they claim that each meal takes only about 35 minutes to prepare.

I think I'll give the first recipe a shot tomorrow night!

Review to come!

The Great Should Stick Around

My friend, Flynn Schulz, passed away this past weekend.  Our mothers have been friends for 40+ years and Flynn was just a couple months older than me. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time together growing up and I vaguely remember Pam's plans for me to eventually marry Flynn when we grew up.  That may not have been on the life agenda but Facebook allowed Flynn and I to reconnect a couple years ago and I had the pleasure of reading about his wild antics through posts. I followed pictures and posts about his races (he recently completed the Leadville 100..which is fairly ridiculous) and occasionally exchanged comments with him...

We didn't spend much time together in our adult lives (I can't remember the last time I actually saw him in person..maybe not since high school graduations?) but I absolutely believe we would have been fast friends even outside of our lifetime bonds...

There are friends who fade away as we get older to just become memories of that guy you once knew and there are friends who will always be connected to you no matter how many years it's been since you last saw them.  Flynn is one of those friends for me.  If he ever needed me, I would have helped him.  If I saw him at a bar, I would have gladly pulled up a seat next to him. I think he would have said the same about me.

I won't get a chance to do these things but I'll wear something red at any race I run for the rest of my life, I'll try to cheer on every person I meet, I'll take chances instead of letting them pass me by, I'll push myself harder than I think I can, and I'll live life loving fully.

This is what I'm going to do for my friend Flynn.
Flynn Garret Schulz 1980-2013

Flynn G. Schulz Just getting someone to smile makes my day, stay warm on this dire day.


*sent to me on a cold February day in 2011....

I'd Like An H&M Menagerie

ummmm...I don't know if you guys know this, but H&M does home stuff...I had no idea...and I want that horse pillow IMMEDIATELY.

Also, seriously, the bunny sheet and duvet set? and the fawn storage bag?  I'm dying...

But, really, someone get me that horse pillow...it's right here: http://www.hm.com/us/product/12360?article=12360-A

then again, it's like $10...why don't I buy it myself?

There Is No Professional Here

Lately, I've had a lot of people asking me about running and working out.  They ask me how I do it- how I drag myself to the gym, how I got started running, how I get through tough classes without feeling like a schmuck.

So, here are my tips/tricks/nuggets of truth:
*let's also remember-- I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL and certainly not a lifetime athlete.  Yes, I swam in high school but I wasn't particularly awesome, I couldn't run a mile without feeling like dying until I was almost 30, but I guess I've learned a couple tidbits over the past couple years.

How I started running:
Anyone can do this.  I swear.  Start with a playlist of music you enjoy.  Walk the first couple songs to get going.  Maybe 2 songs? Then simply run one song, walk one song, run one song, walk one song.
Which leads me to my first running mantra: You don't have to run fast, you just have to run
Follow this pattern for a preset distance or time.  Maybe it's a good idea to start with 20 minutes? Maybe 1 mile? Whatever feels like a good goal for you.  Follow this routine until you think "ok, I'm going to try to run ONE more song." and then do it! Run 2 songs, walk one song..etc...

Basically, I worked up by following this pattern.  I ran 2 songs, walked 1 song until one day I thought, 'ya know, I feel pretty good! maybe I can just run 1 more song"...if I remember correctly, it was a day when I was just about to finish my last run portion of my workout and instead of walking that last song I ran it.

This was also the point when I realized that *for me* running 3 songs equaled about 1 mile.  So from that point on, I ran the first mile and then finished the workout with the run 2, walk 1 routine.  Slowly, I added songs together until I was running 2 miles. I can't tell you how long it took me to work up to it but it wasn't a fast process.

Again-- I cannot reiterate this enough-- You don't have to run fast, you just have to run!

There are days when your "run" is just barely different from your walk and that's ok.  I don't pretend that I'm a distance runner.  I sign up for races fairly consistently but I've yet to try to push it over 6 miles.  I do races because they're fun! There are people cheering, plenty to look at while I'm running, a goodie bag, and a reason to celebrate when it's over! I've got a slight desire to do a half marathon but NO interest in a marathon at this point.  I don't run because I love it and it feels amazing every single time.  Honestly, I only like it about 1/3 of the time.  The rest of the time I do it because it's a good workout and I feel like a more well rounded healthy person when I'm able to jog for a couple miles.  It's a lot easier for me to squeeze in a run than it is for me to convince myself to drag myself out of bed at 5:45 for the only class at the gym I can make it to that day.

When I do have the days that I'm on the treadmill, hating every single step, the 3 songs= 1 mile thing comes in really handy.  I have a lot easier time counting down songs without losing my mind than I do counting down remaining miles.  Yesterday, during my 4 mile run, I got halfway through and the idea of 20 more minutes or 2 more miles seemed like it was going to kill me.  So instead, I focused on the fact that I had 6 songs left (give or take half a song) and sang along to each one of those songs.  Three more songs sounds a lot less painful than 1 more mile.  It also helps if those songs are loud, upbeat, and fast.

Other workouts and gym visits--
I go to the gym because I want to fit in my clothes
I go to the gym because I didn't want to be fat anymore (I weighed the most I'd ever weighed when I joined Equinox)
I go to the gym because I like hitting my goals
I go to the gym because I can still do the things I want to do AFTER the gym (happy hour is still going on!)
I go to the gym because I really like my arm muscles
I go to the gym because it's fun to wear new workout clothes
I go to the gym because guilt feels much worse than exhaustion
I go to the gym because people notice the difference and I'm a sucker for compliments (who isn't??)
I go to the gym because Andy says I'm happier when I do
I go to the gym because, at points, I feel antsy if I don't
I go to the gym because I LOVE food and don't want to give up cheese, milk, ice cream, or anything else
I go to the gym because I also love beer, wine, and cocktails
I go to the gym because I want to be healthy for wherever the rest of my life takes me

To do this, I've had to remind myself of a couple of things that I think other people should know:
*Feel NO shame!
-Going to a new class can make me feel awkward and embarrassed when I can't do things as well as the woman next to me.  But if I keep going and remind myself that no one cares what I'm doing, a month later, I realize how much I've improved.
*Feeling tired, embarrassed, and defeated will happen no matter how hard you work.
-There will ALWAYS be days when your body doesn't work the way you want it to and it will be frustrating.  But if you do it again tomorrow, you might have a completely different day! I'll be honest, today was not one of my best days at the gym.  My class was super hard and for some reason I had a difficult time keeping up.  To top it off, I also happened to end up being front and center in the class so I spent a decent amount of time feeling really bad that people behind me might be influenced by how tired I was.  I almost apologized to them and the instructor after class-- the girl who's really struggling to get 8lb weights over her head might not be the best choice for the front and center position.  But at the end, I looked at the women around me and thought "screw it.  I worked as hard as I could and I'm not going to feel bad about that"
*There is no diet or gimmick that will give you the results that working out will
-I've done Weight Watchers for a number of years now and I really like the structure and awareness that it gives me.  I would be perfectly happy to eat fish sticks, frozen pizza, and quesadillas for dinner damn near every night if I wasn't aware of how much that would defeat my hard work.  I've also lost weight previously just following WW and not exercising.  But the bottom line is that my body looks better, I fit my clothes differently, and the weight largely stays off even if I do eat and drink too much over a weekend.  Because I've gotten my metabolism crankin' and it's working overtime.  Don't tell me to cut out booze, dairy, or treats.  I can lose the same weight if I go to the gym and come home and enjoy some wine with my Cowgirl Creamery.  Will I lose it more slowly? Maybe.  Will I sit around dreaming of chips and dip? Hell no.  I'd much prefer a night out with my friends where my legs are tired but I'm enjoying a glass of pinot noir than legs that are refreshed and a glass of sparkling water.
*Workout 3 days a week to feel good, 5 days a week to look good
-No explanation necessary.  It's the truth and that's all there is to it.  Granted, will I get a workout in 5 days a week every single week?  No, but I'm going to try and most of the time I'll end up around 4.  I plan them out on Sunday night and try and stick to my plan as closely as possible.  I might decide to run instead of a class or I might decide to do yoga instead of a run.  But I'll try to do something.  p.s. yoga only will not cut it.  It is better than nothing but consider it a more intense stretch session...
*Set goals but don't put a time limit on them
-I set a weight goal of 155 a year and a half ago.  I weighed 178 at the time that I joined Equinox and in the first 6 months, I lost about 15lbs.  I sat at 162 for another 6 months.  I was mainly running and doing some harder training but not as much.  Then last January, I started going to a hard plyometric/weights class 1 day a week and the weight started falling off again.  I hit my goal of 155 a couple months ago and I've now set a new goal.  The point is, it takes time.  Sometimes you find a routine that works and the lbs start falling off.  Then you hit a plateau and just get stuck.  It's frustrating.  But give it time and TRY SOMETHING NEW!

The final thing I have to say is that it's hard.  You need to push yourself past your comfort level.  It's ok to not be able to do it by yourself.  That's why I go to classes! But however you do it, you need to push yourself to the point where you are just flat out uncomfortable.  Not hurting! But to the point where you think "Ugh! I can't do this anymore." Then go 5 more minutes.  I once commented to the instructor of my hard class that "For once I just want to be able to make it through class without feeling like I'm dying! I feel like a loser!" and she said "If you make it through this and you don't feel like dying- you're not doing it right.  The point is to push your body to failure.  Once you do that, you've accomplished something."

That's what I reminded myself of today.

and I feel pretty damn good.

Tasty Not So Bad For Me Treat

Generally I don't do this and lord knows no one is paying me to do this..but I have to tell you that I'm obsessed with the Edy's Outshine Coconut Waters bars.  Specifically the one with pineapple.  I know popsicles aren't crazy bad for you to begin with but these are only 60 calories and DELISH! I'm not huge on coconut water in general but these are just refreshing and light.  Plus, they aren't super sweet.  They also have normal non-coconut flavors like raspberry, mango, strawberry, pomegranate etc...and it looks like they'll be coming out with a blood orange flavor soon too...turns out, once you call something "blood orange" I'll purchase it.

Anyway, I love these...you should try them...and then send me a package as a thank you.  Or not because I don't know how they'd make it in the mail....

I'm No Click And Clack

*no idea where this picture is from...

But I'm pretty sure that even if you're 85 years old, you still know that the value of a car with 1 mile on it is drastically different than a car with 100,000 miles on it?

An elderly woman just called the library demanding that I look up the value of a car her son in Wisconsin wants to buy.
"IT'S A CHRYSLER 200!"

"Can't you just look it up on the Kelley book??"

"Ma'am, we would need a lot more information like what year the car is, how many miles it has, what sort of condition it's in?"

"You WOULD????? You mean, there's a price difference if the car is new and if it's got some miles on it???"

I guess if you've never done anything but look out your window and magically found a car in your driveway every couple years, you might never know?  I don't know....

Not My Circus

What I'm trying to remind myself about the wedding...and planning..



How I feel when wishing my best friends were close enough to go wedding dress shopping with me..(or just not busy on the only days I can go)



Stop, Madeline.



Also, stop worrying about other people's shit. Not your problem, Madeline



Exactly.  And if you don't believe me, see above.

Even Toddlers Can Break It Down Now

I love this song, I love Robin Thicke, and I super love Jimmy Fallon..

Librarians Should Know EVERYTHING

From my co-worker today:

"That woman that was looking for Year One is seriously getting on my nerves. She is still here. And has asked me like 50 questions. She needs, like yoga music with drumming, that’s like really relaxing. Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you? Do you know? Where’s the section for yoga music with drums? Like something really relaxing but with drums. With a beat. Do you know what I’m talking about? So as I explain to her that there isn’t a section for yoga music with drums or just a drumming section, and I explain that she could try New Age or Native American stuff, she tells me that it should be part of my job to listen to all the CDs so I know what they all are."

Way to drop the librarian ball....geez....I can't believe you didn't know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING we own...

Now This Is A Reality Show

I just stumbled across this blog/web experiment online and I've officially spent the last hour reading.  It's called 40 Days of Dating.  Jessica and Timothy are both single New Yorkers who have taken drastically different romantic roads.  Jessica is the serial monogomist and Timothy is the serial dater.  They've been friends for about 4 years and decided to do a 40 day dating project.  For 40 days, they'll date each other to try and break through their personal dating issues.  They might fall for each other, they might just be friends.

I'm fascinated by their dynamic and the way that they both have such moments of stupidity.  It's so easy to see other people's dating issues but I feel like you usually only see one side.  For example, I generally just hear my girlfriend's side of the dating story and rarely hear from the side of the guy they're dating.

40 Days of Dating

Personally, I hope they end up in love.

Break It Down, Girl

And this is what news in Chicago should look like every day.

Perfect Strangers

Today is a lucky day.  Not because anything particularly lucky has happened to me but I feel lucky to have witnessed an explosion of kindness in strangers.

While waiting in line to buy my lunch at Whole Foods, an elderly Polish speaking man was having issues at the register next to mine.  His Link card (Illinois food stamps basically) had insufficient funds for what he was purchasing and the 2 women trying to explain the situation to him weren't having much luck.  This went on for a couple minutes until the gentleman ahead of me, turned to the man and in Polish explained to him what the situation was and how he needed to handle it.  While he was explaining this, the woman in line behind the elderly man paid his balance for him.  The man in front of me then turned around to apologize for holding up the line and I couldn't help but tell him how nice of a guy I thought he was for stepping in.  I gave my compliments to the woman who paid his balance too...full disclosure, that woman did get her money back shortly thereafter as once the elderly man understood what was going on, he whipped a pile of twenties out of his wallet and paid the balance himself.  Regardless, the thought was there.

I took my million dollar salad over to the park to enjoy before my lunch was over...As I was reading my book, I heard a woman speaking in Chinese or Japanese to a young boy who looked to be about 10.  He was throwing a Nerf football (poorly) back and forth with a middle aged white guy who looked to be fairly amused.  I watched them for a little bit and couldn't help but smile at this man trying to explain how to catch the football to this boy through his translator mother.  The man noticed me watching and with a grin said to me "This is the first time this kid has ever seen a football! Can you believe it?" The kid could throw the ball but couldn't for the life of him figure out how to catch it.  It was slow going and most people might have given up quickly.  But the two of them had giant smiles on their faces and it was fun to watch.  I couldn't tell you the first time I saw a football, much less threw one...I would guess most of us can't.  But in my head, that kid will remember throwing that silly little Nerf for the rest of his life.  And I'll remember the smile on his face.

Thank you, strangers, for reminding me that people can be good and nice.